midnight & madness

i
wish
i
could
paint
my
nightmares

maybe then you’d understand

how disturbed
i can be

monsters and me

dance along the cliffs

plunging headlong
into mist

waking

drenched
in fear

and

loathing

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me, i am

I am fluid
I have merged with the universe
I inhabit the night sky
Seeking truth
Understanding
Guidance
I drift in moonbeams
I exist in the light of the sun
Twirling
I inhibit the wind
Destruction follows
My wake
Fullness is insatiable
I consume the worlds
Existence
Shrinks
I disengage
From the
Universe

i
am
alone

touched by an angel

i visit death
in my mind

a hundred moments in a day

i wonder

not what death
is like
but for those
left
behind

i have grieved before
i understand
the
vocabulary
we gave death
and
dying

the desolation of missing a person

i don’t know how to die
i don’t know how to be the one
who causes such misery
by
their absence

i wonder
if they feel our pain
the dead
do they think
on
us
at
all

or maybe there’s just nothingness
a deep and eternal slumber
dreaming
of wonder

perhaps
a longing
to return
earthbound

and
fragile

to touch — once again — our beloved

silent night

back
to
front
we
lay

arms entwined

darkness expands
and
i close my eyes
against the shadows

softly
the words form
tentative

they reach out
and
test the air

seeking
something

maybe solace
maybe acquiescence
or
perhaps
acceptance

beseeching the shadows
they pour forth

softly

against
the
nights
silence

a heart, betrayed, seeks normalcy

water ripples
on the underside of my skin
as it retreats
leaving behind flesh
that is malleable and soft
awkward
suddenly too large
it is conscious of its wrongness
it seeks a normalcy that it scant remembers

i
hear
my
heart
beat

for the first time in forever
slowly
it thrums
rhythm
seeking a memory
that for so long
lived just outside its grasp